i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
