dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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