sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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