I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Soap is not a condiment
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
