Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Vodka?
Forever.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
