Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
