do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?