Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?