I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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