question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
