his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
