I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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