you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
