Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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