a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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