There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize