i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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