I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
