His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think your dad took our porno
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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