He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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