Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
