I hate all girls vehemently.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
