Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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