Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We were destined to go to rehab together
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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