you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
