Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
