Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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