My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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