He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
