operation harelip BJ is a go
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
