I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
