How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
