what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
