I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
