Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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