After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
