grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize