I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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