Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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