its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
