I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
