There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
