I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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