connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
