when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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