I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
