so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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