So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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