I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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