im holly from the hills drunk
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
