$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
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Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
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You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won