There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize
