You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
