Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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