My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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