Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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