12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
