dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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