sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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