Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Screwed.edu
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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