I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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