youre lurking in front of me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
