I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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