Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
